A handful of unwitting questions can irritate an otherwise amicable rancher.
Generally speaking, cowboys and ranchers are a pretty amicable bunch. But there are questions that can irritate a rancher and, if you ask them, there’s a chance you could find yourself on the outs with your new cowboy acquaintance immediately.
So what are these faux pas? Let’s just start at the top. No real rancher, any time or any place, wants to hear the question, “How many cattle do you have?”
What a rancher hears is, “What’s the current balance of your checking account?” Now, as ranchers, we understand that’s a natural first question for the uninitiated. So, we deflect. Something like, “Aw, enough to keep me busy but not enough to make me rich.” (That’s my personal favorite.) Or, we try to confuse. “Well, this country will run about 30 cows to the section.”
Photo by Ross Hecox
Someone with the sense God gave a goose will realize that, for whatever reason, this rancher doesn’t want to reveal certain parts of his business. But, sometimes, folks just don’t catch the drift. So they ask, “Well, then, how big is your ranch?” (They might preface that by asking how big a section is.)
Now, that’s an even bigger misstep than the cattle number inquiry. What a rancher hears is, “How much money do you have in your 401K?” Why don’t you just ask him the current price per acre while you’re at it? So, again, a polite rancher will deflect and confuse. A direct rancher might just tell you that it’s none of your business and remind you of the quickest way to exit. I’m sure there are some who don’t mind divulging the specifics of their outfit, but most traditional, honest-to-goodness ranchers aren’t comfortable with that amount of their private affair going public.
While those two are the most cringeworthy questions to ask a rancher, they’re not the only ways to make a real cowboy wish you’d just stayed home. Here are a few more:
“What a cool cow dog. Can I pet him?”
What a rancher hears: “Cool muscle car, can I tinker with the engine?”
(As an aside, when in ranch country, don’t ever pet a man’s dog with or without asking.)
“What a pretty horse. What did you pay for him?”
What a rancher hears: “Just how rich or poor are you?”
“Pretty horse. Can I ride him?”
What a rancher hears: “Can I take your wife to dinner?”
“Neat hat. Can I try it on?”
What a rancher hears: “Will you punch me in the face?”
