Instead of the usual, highbrow Holiday party, I’m throwing my own shindig designed to suit horse people and country folk.
By Kelli Neubert
November 27, 2017
In spirit of the upcoming holiday season, may I take a moment to lament about the short days and social expectations that are bestowed upon us all who seem to have so little time in the first place?
Scratch that question. I’m weary of the events that I never feel I have enough time to be ready for. You know the ones, with their dress codes, fine foods and small talk. This year, I’ve decided I’m attending only one holiday party. That’s right. I’m throwing my own shindig, one that’s tailored to suit my lifestyle. And of course, as most of you are horsemen, cowfolks and generally of the same mindset as me, you are more than welcome to join.
I’ve included some guidelines and helpful tips below to ensure the most enjoyable time for all of my guests.
First things first, there is plenty of room to park a pickup and trailer. Four-legged patrons are welcome, but must stay outside.
The dress code is quite loose. In fact, mud, crud and general dustiness are encouraged. The color of the season is Carharrt brown, but never fear—we are denim-friendly as well. Hats are acceptable and may stay on heads at all times (in fact, for most of us, they should!) And we are most certainly welcoming of spurs—because hey, what’s the holiday season without a little jingle jangle?
Prizes will be awarded for those who go the extra mile. Who smells the most like a feedlot? Who had to blanket the most horses before arriving (and it shows)? Bonus points if you have any sort of hay or grain trapped in your hair.
Our main course will be Biscatella alla Florentina, accompanied by whipped potatoes and steamed artichokes if time allows. Come to think of it, it’s probably a safer bet to count on scrambled eggs with shredded cheese instead.
The featured cocktail is beer in a can. Every color available.
Please, no gifts for the host… unless it’s a new Kerry Kelley bridle, tickets to the NFR or a load of third cutting alfalfa from Arizona.
I’m most looking forward to catching up with everyone’s personal lives and important milestones.
“Did you finally end up with that Metallic Cat gelding?”
“Love your new finalist buckle!”
“How about the price on those black replacement heifers at the livestock sale last week? Wowza!”
It’s an absolute honor to finally be able to throw a holiday party for all my friends. I’m so relieved to be able to do the way that suits me best. It will be held at my house next Thursday—oh wait, you know what? I’m certain our best mare is due to colic that evening—so just forget the whole thing. Better luck next year!