Neu Perspectives

If Santa Rode a Horse

miniature horses wearing antlers and santa hat

What if Santa did his nightly rounds horseback, and left his reindeer at the North Pole? This Christmas poem ponders the good, the bad and the funny if Santa saddled up.

horses wearing santa hat and antlers

As the days grow cold and crisp and short

And we’re in winter clothes again


We still smile as our hands are froze

Christmas is ‘round the bend.


We’ve made our lists and wishes

We try to get along with kin

So we can reap rewards on Christmas Eve

When Santa Clause flies in.


When I think of ol’ Kris Kringle

I have to stop and really wonder,

Is a sleigh lugged round by reindeer eight

The best way to haul our plunder?


See, if Santa hit a long trot

Instead of sitting in his sleigh,

Would I get my presents quicker

To my tree for Christmas day?


I’m sure he likes his caribou just fine

But would it throw him way off course,

If just once he threw a saddle on

And made his rounds upon a horse?


I vote he tries it, just this once

And swaps out his cushy sleigh

For a strapping mare with a long, smooth stride

To bring our gifts this holiday.


He’ll travel light across the sky

Reins loose and stirrups long,

He won’t miss ol’ Blitzen, not a bit

Shoot, what could possibly go wrong?


Well, I guess his mare could throw a shoe

And come up crippled lame,

Or eat too many peppermints

And colic – that would be a shame.


On second thought, the risks are large

What if she’s bothered and distraught?

And runs laps around her pen that day

Not wanting to be caught?


She might be snorty about that sled

And I bet she isn’t broke

To a bag that’s stuffed plumb full with toys

Or a flapping, velvet cloak.


That cold, crisp sky on Christmas Eve

Might find her fresh and full of folly,

And I’m guessing that when he bucks down

Santa’s mood is less than jolly.


Will she ground-tie up atop a roof

While Santa shimmies down?

Or will he come back out the chimney

To find his filly’s left the town?


The more I think, the more I know

A horse could be a mess,

For a Christmas Eve that’s drama free

Tried and true just might be best


But for the big man in the suit

His sleigh and deer will do just fine

To deliver Christmas loot


I guess he ought to fly his reindeer

For a smooth and easy travel,

Though I have no doubt ol’ Santa’s view

Would be better from the saddle.

cowboy hat with santa hat on top

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